Wardrobe Malfunction

A couple weeks ago, I was in Liverpool, enjoying the festival of peach nylon and mahogany sprayed flesh that was Ladies Day at Aintree.

Thousands of girls in Primani’s finest and 5 inch heels had turned out for the race. 1 mile from the course some enterprising young scally had decided to capitalise on their inability to walk and was selling rattan sandals for a quid, which I though was a bit premature as he probably could have tripled his price for the return leg.  Still at least he wasn’t out nicking cables from railway lines.

Anyway, amongst all the push up bra’s and 2 inch thick foundation it was me that suffered a wardrobe malfunction most horrid. The moose knuckle. The male camel toe. Call it what you will as long as one of the adjectives is embarrassing and you don’t google it with safe search off.

Yes without realising it, it appeared as though I’d brought meat and 2 veg to the races and there was nothing I could do about it, except grin and bear it and be thankful that my usual uniform of stripey shirt, shoes, jacket and a pair of jeans doesn’t ever cause this problem. Thanks Jenny for making such a big thing (sic) of it.

Also this week we had our inaugural Mad Men Day, whistles, shirt and tie day at work.  Which saw the entire agency turn out in their Sunday best.  The difference was striking, and for once I could imagine what it might be like to set up an agency in the centre of Milan – well if you squint your eyes and forget about Jarvo.

Anyway let’s move on, in light of these episodes, today I wanted to talk about Media Office dress code.  Walk into Hawksmore London and you can instantly tell the media people from the real people, let me tell you why – and unusually I thought we could do it in the style of a game…

Let’s play Guess Who?…

Have they got…white converse, baggy jeans and a cap = digital planner buyer

Have they got…ridiculously thick framed glasses = Creative

Have they got…vertical Stripey shirt, jeans and brown shoes = press media buyer

Have they got…horizontal Stripey Polo = Hobbo

Have they got…full suit along with blue tie = JCdecaux

Have they got…tiny skirt, an iPad and lots of make-up = digital sales rep

Have they got…tits and teeth = magazine sales rep (see previous blog post)

Media is weird really –  in the spirit of community I know quite a lot of the fella’s on my street who leave for work suited and booted each day, I’d say 9 out of 10 in fact.   Why is media so casual – I would go as far as to say that on Tuesday the agency was 5% more productive due to the straight creases , business dresses and skinny ties – this can only be a good thing.  I am thinking about introducing a full uniform to the7stars in an Asda style.

So am thinking – Polo shirts with embroidered 7stars logo, nylon black trousers, and a blue and grey hoody.  I even think we should have name badges resplendent with our names and Happy to Help.  I’ll let you know how I get on.

Want more of this? – @mullinsarama